MOVIES THAT FUCK(ED) YOU UP.
Televisions use to be carved out of one piece of wood. When we were kids TV and films were different, with Regan in the white house, we could totally villify the Commies and drug lords. I remember cartoons were people tried to KILL each other. Remember G.I. Joe, they were fucking trying to kill each other, C.O.B.R.A. was trying to take over the fucking world. So they would settle their scores the old fashioned way, shooting blue and red lasers at each other.
It was a different time, maybe a simpler time, but ALF, Small Wonder and Mr. Belvedere raised us. The following films however, fucked us (me) up. So fucking creepy looking, and depressing. Movies back in the 80’s were fucking intense for kids. I would be traumatized by films, scared to walk down a dark hallway because of something. Now with all the CG, you might pop a boner for Lava Girl instead of freaking the fuck out and night after having watched THRILLER. I used to be fucking terrified by films, even garbage pal kids gave me nightmares. I had a rad one with the following elements in grade school; Robocop chasing me, and corn cob legs. I had corn cob legs and I was scared. Case in point, kids are stupid and should watch whatever they want.
Return to OZ
By far one of the most fucking creepy films ever made, this is one of the few films that as a child made me feel dirty. Why I don’t know, but regardless. It kinda makes me feel like I was molested or something.
The Neverending Story
I swear of all films from my childhood this one takes the cake for fucking me up the most. Way to go Wolfgang Peterson, you managed to take away all my self esteem in one fowl swoop. What the fuck were you think.
Flight of the Navigator
Oh my God. Take a nerdy looking kid, have him fall into a ditch in his back yard, and then have him appear again like 10 years later. Bullshit, the ditch was in his fucking backyard. His parents obviously tried to murder him and ended up escaping and wander off only to return, shit like that happens all the time in the 3rd world. Disney, your creepy child molester-esque movie sucks. I hate it. Sarah Jessica Parker is in it and I think talks about twisted sister. Would NASA really hire Sarah Jessica Parker? I doubt it, she was on square pegs though.
Close but no trauma
Mac and Me
Oh man, a kid in a wheel chair a naked alien that looks like he’s from Somalia and and amazing dance sequence in McDonald’s. It doesn’t get much better than this.
The Boy who could Fly
Man, was this ever fucking depressing, and I want to say it was a made for TV movie. Maybe not, if not why would my mother think I would like a movie about an autistic boy enough to rent it. I think I even owned it. Man, DP, learn to fucking light a scene, it looks like my grandmother’s house.
Life Goes On
TV, but you all know what I’m talking about…
And the fucking score, Gawd!
Why did Artax have to die in the swap? Cause he gave into the sadness.

