Crapformers- crappy toy in disguise!

So I’m talking to optomus prime and he says, “dude you should totally come to earth” you should fly over here and party. Babes be trippin” So I think to myself, you know, I could use a change. So I get over to earth and see this thing, apparently it’s called a “space shuttle” . Wanting to be low profile I totally make myself look like this common vehicle. Oh, I also saw this thing called a “bird”. BRAIN BONER! I will combine the bird and space shuttle, I never really wanted to have arms so I was set.

Now in all seriousness, I had this toy as a child, I was a stupid stupid child, I thought it was rad at some point, but in retrospect, this thing sucks. First off its so unrealistic that even I’m embarrassed. I mean a robotic space shuttle bird, I don’t understand what they are going for here. Also it had a wind up base that would transport it around. Anyone remember how shitty wind up stuff was in the 80’s. Remember those shitty little white knobs, and that plasticy grinding sound it would make. Even a child has enough torque to make sure every wind up toy they will ever have (in the 80’s ) will fucking break. The base turned into a gorilla I believe and would walk around too. But frankly I really hate this article now. I’m stoppingggggggggg
now.