Bleeding proves I’m alive

Not sure if its medication, dryness or something errily biblical but I constantly get nose bleed. I have for about ten years. There is something about them, I almost enjoy them but at the same time they panic me. We’re not talking about a drip here, were talking serious flow action. I figure at the rate my nose bleed, I could bleed out approximately a 1/2 cups worth in under a minute.

Seeing the life literally drain out from my body has always freaked me out and a nose bleed is no different. I passed out getting a blood test once. I remember seeing the dark, almost black un-oxidized blood swirling around the test time draining out of the arm and the blackness. I thought I was dead. A heads up, death/nothingness is very peaceful.