Games of the 16-bit kind

Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Baseketball (SNES)   

This game fucking sucked. My friend got it when he got a SNES, I think it was like 30 bucks, so he bought it… I just remember it looked like shit and had saw blades built into the basketball court. Basket Ball sucks to start with.    1 (out of 10)

Lester the Unlikely (SNES)

For his birthday a friend and I went to Toysrus to pick up NBA Jam, a game that was really hot at the time. Well I convinced him to buy this game instead. I had only seen pictures of it in the past and I could have totally been a waste of 45/50 dollars. Turned out to be pretty cool.   7 1/2 (out of 10)

Rocket Knight Adventures (SEGA GENESIS)

Back in the day side scrolling platformers were the hot shit. Something that has for some reason fallen out of fashion. This rare ass game was fucking rad. First, notice how cool the “extreme” factor is for kid. You play an armadillo in a suit of armor with a jetpack and sword. Did a retarded mongolian think that up, how amazing. Next you fight pigs, that have giant war machines, robots etc. I haven’t thought about this game for about 12 years so my review should still be air tight. If I can remember you could fly across the screen with your get pack and kill things with your swords. I remember liking it alot and listen to Black Sabbath while playing it. The game is getting revamped for XBOX live.    8 (out of 10)

Splatterhouse ( Turbo Grafx 16)

Fucking awesome. Chainsaw wielding maniacs with bags over their heads. Shotguns, a hockey mask and shit like that. This game used to give me nightmares years ago and was so fun, and nostalgic that I had to buy the system and game again a few years ago. It was so fucking ahead of it’s time for gore and violence, its still is fucking rad. You play a dude looking for his girlfriend that got kidnapped by monsters, trust me buddy, she ain’t worth it, she will probably cheat on you with one of them, your main weapon is, get this.. a 2x4. You swing it like nobody’s business, turning monsters into piles of goo that will burn you if you don’t jump over them. Fuck, this game is awesome. I think I might bust out the TG-16 and play some.    10 (out of 10)